Day 21: Job 10-13

On this lovely Valentine's Day morning I begin my Bible reading with these beautiful words:

I loathe my very life;
   therefore I will give free rein to my complaint
   and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.

Nice. But then, something tells me there's going to be a lot of this kind of stuff in the book of Job. And why not? Everything that gave him joy has been taken from him and now he sits with these miserable "friends" of his who don't seem to be helping at all. Zophar says to him:

You say to God, ‘My beliefs are flawless
   and I am pure in your sight.’
Oh, how I wish that God would speak,
   that he would open his lips against you
and disclose to you the secrets of wisdom,
   for true wisdom has two sides.
   Know this: God has even forgotten some of your sin.

Wow. With friends like that who needs enemies? However Zophar is right when he says:

Can you fathom the mysteries of God?
   Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?
They are higher than the heavens above—what can you do?
   They are deeper than the depths below—what can you know?
Their measure is longer than the earth
   and wider than the sea.

In fact, I believe God says much the same thing when He finally speaks toward the end of the book...but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I love that Job is so sarcastic in his response when he says:

Doubtless you are the only people who matter,
   and wisdom will die with you!

And later:

If only you would be altogether silent!
   For you, that would be wisdom.

 In the midst of his suffering he retains a sharp mind and sarcastic wit! My kind of guy.

Job is asking questions of God that most people feel uncomfortable asking. As I've grown older and, dare I say, a little more mature I've started realizing that doubt is a part of faith. Maybe it's not doubt so much as uncertainty. The deeper a person's faith the more questions he has. Does that make sense? Or maybe, it's just that as your faith and trust in God deepens you find you don't really need to have all your questions answered. You become a little more comfortable in the tension of not knowing because you've learned to trust the One you do know. I don't mean to say that faith and reason are mutually exclusive. I've always reacted negatively to those people who seem to take an ANTI-intellectual approach to their faith...as if the act of asking questions is a sin in itself. But the truth is my intellect, no matter how great it may be, is limited. It is an intellect created by another. I will NEVER be able to understand God's answers completely even if He gave them to me. If I could...then I would be God and He would not. As it is, I'm left with trust.

I think that's where Job finds himself. He believes he is taking his life in his own hands by asking these hard questions of God and demanding answers...and yet he's willing to trust God with his life.

Why do I put myself in jeopardy
   and take my life in my hands?
Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him;
   I will surely defend my ways to his face.

Wow. Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him...